I really enjoy watching trailers for movies, they really have one job: to make you want to see the movie being previewed. Suburbicon had a very intriguing vibe based on those trailers. It appeared to be a gritty, dark, noir thriller with an all star cast including Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, and Oscar Issac while being directed by George Clooney. Who wouldn’t want to see that? Mrs. Apologist and I went into the theater with pretty high expectations.

Suburbicon had such potential to be great but it definitely was a let down. Despite being such a disappointment there were a few strengths. The setting is an interesting one: little “picture perfect” community in the 1950’s where a shocking home invasion shakes things up. The real standout in the cast is Oscar Isaac who stole the show as an insurance investigator. He’s funny, sly, and easily the most interesting character in the fold. There weren’t many other redeeming qualities to be seen.

This movie did have an abundance of glaring weaknesses. It seemed to me that Clooney didn’t have any idea of which genre he wanted his movie to be. It looked like a dark, gritty thriller but functioned more like a dark satire. I found myself laughing throughout the majority of the movie. There are elements that don’t move the plot forward and that don’t develop any of the characters. They just happen with no purpose. The characters are all bland and boring besides Oscar Isaac. The story is fairly predictable as it plods along through the entire 105 minute run time, which ended up feeling more like 3 hours. Clooney delivers an absolute train-wreck of a film.

It is not often that a movie will disappoint so thoroughly from start to finish. The plot, almost all the characters, the dialogue, everything let me down. Oscar Isaac was the only reason that I stayed to finish this disaster. The person in charge of creating the trailers should be commended since they made Suburbicon look like a gem instead of the turd that it turned out to be. Being the movie lover I am (and since I’ve been told I’m quite forgiving) it is pretty rare that I give out such a harsh rating but this debacle earns the worst score I have given out to date: 8 Apologies! Even if its free on one of your movie channels I would advise you to steer clear and watch literally anything else.

-Movie Apologist